


Just another drabble

by lokixarchangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt Gabriel, M/M, gabriel is frustrated, i'm ignoring a lot of canon, past lubriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 20:57:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14626893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokixarchangel/pseuds/lokixarchangel
Summary: Gabriel has a long drawn out speech about why Sam frustrates him. (VERY CANON DIVERGENT)





	Just another drabble

Gabriel settled into the very hot bath filled with bubbles. He then shut the shower curtain and sighed, calling, “you can come in, now!”

He heard Sam open the door and make a choked sound, “dude, why is the water so hot? I can feel it in the air.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes and then closed them. “Now that I’m feeling human things, I am always cold. Hot baths help that. The small amount of grace I have left keeps it from scalding  me.” 

Sam sighed at the reminder. “Right.” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes, again, while somehow managing to keep them closed. “I don’t get you, Sam Winchester.” 

“I don’t get what you mean.”

“I don’t understand you. You’re the boys God sent to save the earth. You’re supposed to be loving, compassionate. I dunno. I guess you just didn’t live up to my expectations.” Gabriel mumbled and sighed. 

“I still don’t get what you mean.” Sam sounded a little offended. 

“Good.” Gabriel sat up and grabbed the soap. “I’m glad you don’t. I’d be surprised if you did. That means I get to talk to explain why.” He poured soap on the loofa and sighed. “You see, I was always the smallest archangel. Dad created me that way. I was the scraps from my brothers. So, I didn’t get the complete lack of empathy they did. Well, Michael and Raphael did. Lucifer was an experiment. Before he received Amara’s mark. He was… soft. Sweet. Kind. He was loved and he loved in return. And he loved me. We were mates. Happy. I created fledglings. And they were beautiful. Happy. Then…” He trailed off. 

Sam was silent, for his benefit, though Gabriel knew he was probably confused. 

“Lucifer was taken from me. Michael told us all he left. I loved and was loved and in return, I lost.” He got quieter. “So I left. I hid from the angels and called in some favors. I lived. I felt. I experienced humanity and then I experienced it, again. Then, you two came along. And you were soft. Sweet. Kind. And you had this volcanic anger that was under the surface and it all made me feel again. Old feelings. New feelings. Feelings that were fading away. I almost mistook you for the Morningstar. You held his beauty. Your soul held his beauty. And, I fell. I fell like my past mate and older brother.” He smiled a bit as he remembered it. 

“But then, you were taken from the start. You weren’t mine to begin with and that probably was what hurt the worst. Or it was the fact that I loved and wasn’t loved. And that I still lost. Either way, I was in over my head and had the righteous man, the man who refused to kill his brother, the man who would rather die than let his brother die, telling me that I needed to fight, I needed to kill my brother. And, I tried. And look where it got me.

“You never spoke up in my defence. You agreed with him. And I wasn’t sure if I got pre-mark or post-mark and that scared me. And what scared me more was that I still loved you. And what scares me now is that I can’t hate you. You and your asshole older brother. Because I’m so stupid and vulnerable and each time, I know it’s stupid, but I still fall. And I can’t hate you. No matter how hard I try because I understand. But I don’t. And you don’t. And it’s frustrating. And, now you’re helping me and it’s hurting me. Because you’re in reach but you’re not. So stop caring. Because when you leave. When you truly compare to the angel you’re supposed to play vessel for, it’ll hurt less.” His throat was sore from all the talking he was doing and he was tired from it. 

“Gabe…” Sam sighed and Gabriel could feel the frown. 

“Don’t- Don’t do that.” Gabriel mumbled. Everything drained out of him and he pulled his knees up to his chest. 

Sam just fell silent. Gabriel eventually went back to washing himself, knowing Sam’s silence proved him right. 

**Author's Note:**

> I almost didn't post this one. But, here it is.


End file.
